Monday, October 29, 2012

Keep your Marriage Healthy





Advice for a good marriage in some cases can seem a little obvious, but in a lot of cases it can seem like just the advice you need. When you are involved in marriage (long term relationship), sometimes it's hard to see the wood for the trees, and it takes only the most basic advice for us to see what is wrong. 

Piece of Advise #1


The best piece of advice is to be honest with yourself about when it is and isn't working. When things are going wrong.  If you kid yourself that everything is fine when it isn't, things are hardly likely to get better-in fact you will usually notice things getting totally worse. The sooner you spot and admit to problems, the sooner you can ask God to help you working on them. Maybe is your attitude towards your husband, your words or even has to do with your own self-image or self-esteem… Half the work is done as soon as you admit something is wrong, so don't be afraid to admit it and surrender it to God.

Piece of Advice # 2


Learn to communicate effectively. Don’t use accusations and fighting as the default method of interaction. Can you honestly hope for things to last if that's how you both behave? If you have something under your skin, sit down and talk it out. Talking about things sensibly rarely makes things worse-unlike accusations and arguing! The key is in how things are said.

Piece of Advice # 3


Understand that you can't fix the problems in your marriage solely fixing your husband's behavior. Most of the times we tend to think “if only he changes” A marriage is exactly that-the joining of two people-so it's not healthy to make one person do all the changing and adapting. This will not lead to a healthy relationship. It's much better to sit and talk it out and then work out how you can both make things better for each other. It's also a lot easier this way, as each of you will usually only need to make small adjustments to keep the other happy. One thing I learnt from Stormie Omartian on her book “The Power of a Praying wife” is that we often ask God to change him…but nothing might happen until we change the “change him” for “change ME”.

Piece of Advice # 4


Understand the simple Biblical principal-you get what you give, you reap what you sow, so if you go the extra yard for your spouse and prove yourself to be kind, caring and considerate,  chances are that he will act a lot more like that towards you too. Think about when you see couples that are really in love-it's rarely just one of them doing the kind things is it?

May these thoughts bless your life and marriage!. On a quick note, though I might seem to talk a lot on marriage. Don’t think I have a perfect marriage :) nobody does. The advice I give and thoughts I share are only based on what I’ve learnt/ I’m learning. Marriage is hard work…Marriage is CONTINOUS HARD WORK. Process in the Making... It’s not something you do once and that’s it. It should be our everyday JOB. The Good thing: It’s all worth it ;) Hard work and effort always pay off!

Linking Up with:

A Mama's Story,Marital Oneness Mondays,Raising Arrows,The Better Mom,The Modest Mom, What Joy is Mine Rachel WojoA Proverbs 31 wifeCovered In GraceYes, They're all oursA Holy ExperienceThe WellspringBecoming a Strong Woman of God,Far Above RubiesGrowing Home,Heavenly Homemakers,Thankful Homemaker,Time-Warp WifePause on The PathSimply BetterMercy InkCornerstone Confessions




15 comments:

  1. Angie,
    I interviewed Dr. Gary Chapman (5 Love Languages) last month, and he said that even if your spouse isn't interested or willing to make changes, one partner can positively impact the emotional climate of the marriage. "You influence your spouse every day," he said, "positively or negatively."

    Oh, may we all prayerfully seek to be a positive influence in our homes every day! Visiting from Be Not Weary today :)

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    1. Wow, awesome you had the opportunity to interview him! I really admire him and love his books!...about the statement totally true and powerful! thanks for sharing Lori! We'll keep in touch! x

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  2. Great Advice! I was guilty of #3 for the first few years. It took me quite a while to understand that I had to fulfill my role, and God would do His thing. I'm not powerful enough to change anyone. Good words!

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    1. Thanks for sharing your testimony Sherry, I believe most if not all of us struggle with that point in particular...our selfishness! but God is good and faithful! thanks for visiting! ;)

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  3. Your advice is spot on. I love my "everyday job."

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    1. Love it too!, Pretty hard work though, huh? but so rewarding! :) thanks for reading! x

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  4. It's very true that change needs to start with you and not with him! That's not what we always want to hear, though!

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    1. lol, true! In Mexico we have an idiom that says something like "the truth is not a sin but it hurts"...May God help us to be what He intended us to be in our husbands lives! thanks for your comment, I appreciate it x

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  5. Wonderful list! Thanks for this.... I agree with you!!

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  6. Hi Angie - I'm visiting from the Alabaster Jar linky. So glad I visited. Great advice here. Marriage is tough but certainly examining one's own heart is a great point to begin improvement. God bless
    Tracy

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    1. Hi Tracy! thanks for visiting! I appreciate your comment! so true by the way! God bless you too! x

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  7. Great tips, I'm so glad you linked up! Hope you've picked up a free copy of my ebook, buried treasure. It is about marriage and how to see our husbands as the men of our dreams. Http://www.besimplybetter.com

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    1. Hi Leslie! thanks so much for hosting the link! I've gotten a copy of your book! I actually posted a comment somewhere in your blog, letting you know that I had it and would love to post a review after reading it, if that's ok with you :) thanks! keep up the good work ;) x

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  8. Great post! Cute blog, I love it.
    -Melanie

    P.S. I’m doing a $50 Shabby Apple giveaway on my blog. You should check it out here: http://meandmr.com/post/35113285949/shabby-apple-50-giveaway

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